I totally understand that little girls always fantasize about their dream weddings.
Furthermore, I completely understand and expect that Brandy will have many, many, many hopes and ideas for our wedding.
However, I have almost no expectations, plans, or ideas for this wedding.
As we begin planning our wedding, I’m learning lots of new things. Until yesterday, I had no idea where this process begins. Brandy and I went to look at a couple different venues where we could hold the ceremony and reception. Unfortunately for her, I wasn’t the most helpful person that I could be. To justify myself, I say that I grew up in a house with mostly boys, and that she’s been directly involved in the planning of two weddings within the past 8 months. But really, I think what it comes down to is that I haven’t put nearly any thought into what I want my wedding to look like or include.
I’m not at all afraid to offer my opinion on something. If I see something I don’t like, I’m very up-front and honest about it. But, when asked “What do you want?” I have no response. She felt like I wasn’t telling her what I was really thinking, because I wasn’t saying anything. When we were out looking at different locations yesterday, I started really stressing out about it. Because she has so much in her mind already, she was expecting me to at least have some thoughts in my head. Once we figured out where we were both coming from, though, things went much smoother. I wasn’t feeling pressured, and she didn’t feel like I wasn’t being honest.
This whole process is going to be a real learning experience for both of us, I think. I’m excited to figure out what I want, learn about what she wants, and most of all prepare for our life together. I’m glad we’re living in a culture where couples plan marriages together. There are going to be so many opportunities for patience, understanding, and decision-making; all of which are extremely crucial for a healthy marriage. While it’s going to be a tough road to travel, I’m glad to be on it with her.
–Elliot